Chapter 29
A few
decades ago I was chairman of Dutch Aikikai. One day a student told me that an
instructor had threatened to hit a female student. Knowing a little about the
dynamics of their relationship I wasn’t necessarily surprised, but of course
it’s not acceptable. A few months later I heard that she had gone to the police
to press charges.
At the time
I was working as a consultant on communication with victims, and one of the
things that were considered important at the time is that a victim of abuse
should get every support when making her complaint. The reasoning behind that
blunt choice isn’t too difficult to explain: if the complaint is justified the
weaker victim should not feel threatened in any way to make a complaint. On the
other hand, victims often fear public criticism and to avoid further emotional
turmoil simply don’t report such incidents.
On the
other hand, any report should lead to thorough research. This may result in
three types of outcome: the complains was justified; the complaint was not
justified; or the outcome is unclear. None of these outcome give reason not to
support the victim when making the complaint. If it’s justified, there is no
problem anyway; if it’s not justified
nothing has been lost; if the outcome is unclear the organization can do
nothing and the support in the beginning may be the only support the victim can
take away from the ordeal.
I was caught
by surprise when she walked up to me at a seminar and asked my opinion on the
matter. But she mainly wanted to know what I thought about her pressing
charges. While I was giving her a reply in line with the line of reasoning
above, she responded positively. She confirmed that she was afraid of the
negative response of others.
But I was
caught even more off guard by what happened next. A instructor walked up,
interfered in the conversation and stated she should never have gone to the
police. It was an internal matter that we should have resolved internally.
As I said,
I was caught off guard. I had no reply other than repeating my personal
opinion. Our association did not have a procedure for such complaints, and the
position that we would resolve the matter internally, was a complete fallacy.
As an individual I knew what was right and wrong, but as a chairman I had no
guidelines whatsoever.
Now, it’s
not my nature to leave such things lying. So I set out to find out what other
instructors thought about the matter and I came to a disturbing conclusion. The
large majority had one of the following opinions: I don’t want to think about
it; the hierarchy of Aikido prohibits a student going against his teacher; it
doesn’t happen that often so why make a point of it. And as statistics go,
after some odd 30 years I have to agree with the latter fact: it doesn’t appear
to happen that often, with the stress on appear. But frequency isn’t a valid
justification. I have heard of instructors intentionally injuring students, I
have heard of instructors setting up their students to hurt other students. I
have heard of senior instructors forcing other instructors to expel students. Looking
back I have heard of far too many incidents and literally none of them have
been addressed by the organization*.
Over the course of time, too many incidents were brought to
my attention: instructors making out with students, instructors going through
one relationship with students after another, complaints even to the board of
the IAF about violence, sexual harrassment, physical abuse. But the board of
the IAF struggled with these questions just as much. But there was one additional argument: the IAF could not
get involved in the internal affairs of a national federation.
Being on
the short end of the stick myself, filing a complaint about abuse of power,
manipulation, conflict of interest, providing false information and
intimidation, I now find myself in the same position: the people who are in the
position that they need to do something take the side of the official the
complaint is against; the people that have the power to do something (the
representatives of the member organizations) don’t want to be involved; senior
Aikido instructors have actually expressed that I should just conform to the
situation.
The
fundamental nature of a complaints procedure is that you do not know in advance
what the complaint will be and what the context will be. You do however know
that virtually always that procedure is the only straw a weaker party can hold
on to against a stronger party. In Aikido we fundamentally make seniors
stronger than juniors, teachers stronger than students. So, the only thing we
have to offer as protection is that procedure. If we fail to provide that protection,
to my opinion, we fail our students and ultimately ourselves.
If your
organization has such a procedure and follows it, take this chapter as a
compliment. If your organization does not have it, it’s advise: you need it. If
your organization has it but doesn’t use it this chapter is an accusation: you
have failed a moral code that should be self evident.
The next
chapter will give some considerations on what such a procedure must consider.
* I trust
there are examples of complaints handled well, but none of the examples I have
heard of were ever acted upon.